An Excerpt of a Transcript for a new online Republican Ad

Dateline has a new show coming out that will feature many in the Republican Party who have through religious and ultra right-wing (read here as militia) sodomites have finally developed a way clear of their own web of wiretaps and email gouging to maintain a steady supply of underage non-adults to satisfy any call for payback for political contributions. Rev. James Dobson a regular mover and shaker on this horrific underground thruway has had close to a million hits on his MySpace site alone.

Anonymous Donor: I gave thousands of dollars to Republican leaders and all I got was this T-shirt that reads, “The Crippled Do It On The Floor.” And on top of all that I am under investigation for crimes against the Fatty Arbuckle amendment. Where oh where will I get my just desserts?

Voice Over: Have you had this difficulty? Well you don’t have to worry about it anymore. If there is one thing the Jack Abramoff scandal has taught the Republican Party is that to get anywhere in this world of truth, allegiance and integrity you must keep the frothing wolves at bay. Now with the help of the criminal underworld, those who do not already share our views of pride and respect for the family, we have developed, we in the Republican Party, have found a way of exploiting the unfortunate of others.

- Chris Mansel