Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Karl Rove: Bishop To Rook, Queen To Pawn

In a downtown office building in the state of Virginia a man sits in front of a computer screen and accesses the records of every citizen who voted in the 2004 election. He categorizes by race, income, and party affiliation.

In a office located inside the White House Karl Rove plays around with a headline that he will send to Matt Drudge of the Drudge Report. His phone rings and he takes the call.

Karl Rove: Yea…

Unnamed Source: We have organized half of the party, everyone has their marching orders.

Karl Rove: Good, tell Bay Buchanan next time she appears on CNN not to look like some sort of holocaust victim with an upside down bird’s nest on her head.

Unnamed Source: Yes sir, consider it done. We are also having success diverting Tsunami funds to the smear campaign against the Clintons. The special account is being accesses readily by those in the field.

Karl Rove: You just make damn sure that they pace themselves and get the stories where they belong. The worst thing that can happen is the same kind of goddamn fervor that almost sank us in 2000.

Unnamed Source: I have the names sorted by census and party. Do you still want me to send my findings to the off shore address?

Karl Rove: Of course, but send a reminder to Katherine Harris. She has to mention family, funding, and faith. The three F’s will get her elected otherwise she is banished for good.

Unnamed Source: Yes sir.

- Chris Mansel

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