Chewing A Dull Blade or Ed Meese Advancing In Tripoli

Back in the 1980's when Ed Meese was put in charge of investigating pornography and ended up escaping to the Virgin Islands with two yachts of papers and reel to reel tapes to transfer to videotape,a cache he still owns and controls but has since moved to his compound for Better Boys in South Carolina. It's fruitless to mention that Meese would show up at the office at odd hours and kick open a container at random and get undressed and start hollering at the cleaning staff to wash him. There have been rumors through the beltway that say that Meese has in his possession footage of every major porn star that has committed suicide since the late seventies. So it's no shock to find out that on occasion that Meese will send packages off to those countries considered in the Axis of Evil to earn some extra cash.

Like the ibogaine incident of the 1972 campaign, there is a rumor that Meese will contribute in a rough way to the downfall of Mitt Romney. The drug, Dioscorea which Romney has been abusing for some years now has become well known through the inner world of Conservative movers and shakers and to a degenerate like Meese it is too good to be true. Meese in his drugged out mind has become convinced that in the holiest of holy in the state of Utah the Mormon Church has the completely mummified body of Margaret Mead and he wants it.

Romney who began using Dioscorea to bulk up for his political life and to sexualize his libido has become addicted. The problem is drug use is frowned on by the Mormon Church and if he is found out the religion he is supporting in a run for the White House will out him and his political life will be over.

Meese who comes from a family that owned a surprising amount of stock in Syntex a German pharmaceutical company during World War II, and who secretly was an active particpant in the research of Masters and Johnson, along with other Congressional celebs, keeps a leather bound copy of the Pure Food and Drug Act of 1906 with him at all times. Referring to it at campaign stops during his political tenure he would amuse himself at the punishment listed for abuse of the Act while he flaunted every known narcotics law he could.

- Chris Mansel