Friday, April 01, 2005

A Death Directive from Bob Kincaid

Knowing that Congress is “ginning” up to REALLY fool with America, I, Bob Kincaid,
do leave these instructions for anyone assuming (and we already know about “assuming,” don’t we) to undertake the execution of my wishes as touching upon my future, should I become incapacitated:

1) Don’t get in a hurry. Hire a few doctors. Deal a few hands of Canasta. Ask the doctors if their portfolios are secure against inflation.

2) Play Roxy Music’s “More Than This” warmly against my ear. Let me hear my Wife chatting in the background. If I don’t so much as twitch, start looking for the wall-switch marked “Bob.”

(3) If, in the process of any of the above, Tom DeLay gets within a thousand miles of me, please, at my direction herein, have some gang of poison-mutated insects devour Tom like something out of the end of the first “Mummy” movie with Brendan Fraser. There should be a whole BUNCH of screaming as the bugs do their job. I don’t think Tom’ll let us down on the Special Effects. Even if I never saw Paris, I damned sure DO get to see What’s Next.” And I’ll haunt the first mouthbreather that says I don’t.

- Bob Kincaid

You can listen to the Bob Kincaid show by going to weekdays at 6 pm CST, his show is archived at

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