Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Scatter The Market For Bloody Cattle

“In no world but a fallen one could such lands exist.”

The Encantadas

There’s an epidemic in vending machines across the country. Chemically laced bacteria are being transferred through all that search the coin return for change. The certain deaths of many citizens have gone unnoticed. The first death in the nation’s capital however sent Wolf Blitzer himself running to the situation room. Blitzer fell to his knees and began pulling at and turning knobs that were not there. At Fox studios the situation was worse. A call came in from the limousine of Rupert Murdoch. Murdoch was on fifth avenue and said for a camera crew to quickly get to where he was and he would pay cheaply dressed New Yorkers to search vending machines for change then the y could dump the bodies into the subway stop nearby.
I was at home in Alabama searching the internet for the board of directors for a large chemical company when a call came in from an unnamed source that identified his information as classified. He spoke of the return of the rare three-sided coin and the true source of the bacteria. He said he would catch a flight to Virginia where a hotel room that had been reserved for the families of the victim’s to assemble and be interviewed by the pool by the Fox news affiliate.

- Chris Mansel

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