A Tribute To The Late Comic Mitch Hedberg

I went to a press conference the other day. At least I think it was a press conference cause there were a lot of people standing around. I was in the White House after all so I figured what the hell…ask some questions.
Here are some of the questions I asked.

Why do they call it a pressroom when everybody sits in different chairs?

Does it bother anyone that you all went to college to ask questions of people with the name Bush and Dick?

If the President choked on a pretzel does that mean he could deep throat a Scooby snack? Everybody knows that Scooby snacks are smaller. Bush has had us all in the mystery machine for years…now it makes sense.

Why are all of you in the press reporting that Bush’s approval ratings are low? Why don’t you look on the bright side? His disapproval ratings are going through the roof. Be positive.

- Chris Mansel