Beltway Hostels

As Tucker Carlson loosens his tie, as Bill O’Reilly in his dressing room hovers over the hot plate cooking up a new batch of falafel’s, as Paula Zahn spreads her make-up across the mirror in her car while performing an unnatural act and television crews the world over open the first of what will be several cold beers the President of the United States curses loudly and stumbles over to the television to change the channel having lost the remote for the third time that day.
Earlier in the day the President remarked to a crowd of onlookers who were touring the White House, the president having wandered into their group, the president remarked, “Why in the hell are there so many Mexicans protesting in France?” The White House tour guide attempts some apologies to the group as aides pull the president back into a narrow hallway and the day continues as before.


- Chris Mansel