Air Force One (The Sadistic Wagon With The Squeaky Wheel)

(for Jack Random)

Air Force One left London and as soon as it was in the air the flight crew disrobed and the alcohol started to run in-between the aisles. President Bush went into his secret office near the fuselage and put in a DVD that contains a montage of Condi Rice strolling in front of the camera. The creases in her pants suit moving in slow motion. The President thrusts his groin into the television screen, aides gather together intelligence on the bombings and begin to make secure phone calls to Saudi Arabia to schedule another. When the President gets all worked up to the point of climax he opens a door located inside his closet to enter a small pool of oil so he can commit coitus with himself. President Clinton kept vagina cigars in this secret room and former President Reagan kept stag films of Hedy Lamar and Clara Bow. Jelly Beans tied on gold string reeking of excrement.
In the President’s office Karl Rove and Karen Hughes watch footage of the attacks in London and sculpt data for Scott McClellan and the White House press core, for speeches in the upcoming elections and to use in the files that Rove keeps in his secured bunker of misinformation. Rove laughs greedily and spits in his hand and grabs Karen Hughes by the neck and bends her toward him. Karen Hughes performs a sadomasochistic act on Rove’s person. The President walks in and opens a beer.

President Bush: Now Karl, when I go sign this book at the embassy what do I write…a message of some sorts or what? Sorry you didn’t die Tony, something like that?

Karl Rove relieves himself into a bucket on the floor and Karen Hughes hits a button and a Secret Service agent arrives instantly to dispose of the waste. Karen Hughes arranges herself and the talk continues.

Karl Rove: You just sign your name and express your sympathies.

President Bush looks at Karen Hughes and at Karl Rove with a confused expression.

Karl Rove: Sympathies, how sorry you are…(laughs) ok just write whatever you want to.

Karen Hughes: Mr. President can we please turn off this tape of Condi?

The President looks across the room at Condi and then returns his gaze to the television screen.

- Chris Mansel